The older we grow, the more we have to look back on.
Nostalgia is profound remembering of a moment that has personal significance. And it is mixed with a tinge of sadness; a sentimental longing for the past. Whether it’s old photos, or a song or your worn out Harry Potter books, memories and emotions are triggered setting off the loop of nostalgia.
Nostalgia has an important role to play in social bonds, increasing connectedness, often increasing appreciation for life’s good moments. Remembering exciting experiences of the past and youthful escapades has a way of making one feel youthful.
Shared nostalgia is a powerful bonding tool for groups. Old college roommates meeting after several years will spend most of their reunion time talking about their college days and ‘Can you believe we did that?’ moments.
Memories and emotions are very closely connected, both anatomically and conceptually. Both are situated within the temporal lobe of the brain, the former in the hippocampus and the latter within the limbic system. As old memories flood your conscious mind, they bring up emotions ranging from joy to regret to sadness to hope. But nostalgia is more than an emotion.
Nostalgia is neither happiness nor sadness; rather it is the brain attempting to come to terms with the passing of time and the idea of mortality.
Nostalgia is a key part of growth in relationships / friendships. It helps structure ‘our story’ - the identity of the couple or the group. It is a way of integrating the past into the present and the future. It is a reminder of ‘where we have come from’ and a marker of all the dreams we once had, which helps orient our future behaviour. Nostalgia is not ‘living in the past’, it is referring to your past to improvise the future.
Nostalgia is a form of self care.
The danger is getting stuck in a cycle of negativity - “why can’t we go back to the good times?” This makes us exaggerate the goodness of the past and the discomfort of the present. This is a cognitive distortion, I.e. brain lying to itself.
The grass often seems greener at a different time.
Some things trigger this negative cycle more than others; social exclusion (being left out of social events), boredom, losing sense of purpose or loneliness are all triggers for negative loops.
So if and when you find yourself looking back at a time from your past, ask yourself what is it that your brain is trying to learn from it. In the end, nostalgia is your past talking to your future.
Love,
Sid.
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Dr. Sid, its always interesting to read the insightful articles written by you. You're awesome 🤟